I've learned recently and now firmly believe that the damage done due to unhealthy relationships can only be healed through healthy relationships. And just like how recovering addicts/alcoholics say that the most complete support can only come from others who have also suffered with substance abuse, I think that the healthy relationship needs to have reminders of the unhealthy one to fully heal. No matter how much we work on ourselves, some of those wounds and/or maladaptive coping skills just won't get stitched up until we relive those same dynamics again enough times to really get to see (or be reminded of) how different "good" feels. When we're lucky, its the same relationship throughout and it heals with us, but it doesn't usually seem to turn out that way..
I've also found that experiencing the joy of another person only ever makes me love my other significant-others harder, especially in polyamory. Another great essay, this one made me feel lots of big feelings and I've learned not to read your stuff in my downtime at work because I may end up a mess for the rest of the shift haha <3
I've learned recently and now firmly believe that the damage done due to unhealthy relationships can only be healed through healthy relationships. And just like how recovering addicts/alcoholics say that the most complete support can only come from others who have also suffered with substance abuse, I think that the healthy relationship needs to have reminders of the unhealthy one to fully heal. No matter how much we work on ourselves, some of those wounds and/or maladaptive coping skills just won't get stitched up until we relive those same dynamics again enough times to really get to see (or be reminded of) how different "good" feels. When we're lucky, its the same relationship throughout and it heals with us, but it doesn't usually seem to turn out that way..
I've also found that experiencing the joy of another person only ever makes me love my other significant-others harder, especially in polyamory. Another great essay, this one made me feel lots of big feelings and I've learned not to read your stuff in my downtime at work because I may end up a mess for the rest of the shift haha <3
Profound relatable realizations aside, you are an amazingly beautiful writer.